For many years i never knew how ladies in their very late 20s, early 30s and late 30s feel when it comes to the issue of settling down with a man until recently when i had the cause to really get close to many of them.
Yes many of them will always insist that marriage is the least of their worries but deep inside, most of them are hoping desperately to have a man to settle down with and my acquaintanceship with some of them made me decide to write this short piece hoping that when they see and read it, they will come to understand that their desperation is self inflicted and until they learn to put themselves at a vantage point, they will only hope and wish for a long time that a man comes their way.
I have witnessed many deliverance session for ladies all in the name of looking for a husband but after a close look i come to realize that they are their own problems and this is as a result of the society that have brainwashed them and rather than dealing with the problems, they end up running from one prophet to another and from one deliverance service to another and some have become a shadow of themselves as they turn to emergency sister dressing like masquerades, going without earrings, make up and even on low cut all in the name of looking for a man.
Please when next you see such ladies, help me inform them that deliverance won’t solve their problems and even when we know that there are spiritual hindrance to getting a spouse, most times what we need is a re-orientation of our minds, ways of life and culture.
1. Many ladies will not say yes to a man if you are not ready to do traditional wedding, legal wedding, white wedding, blue wedding… Please tell me how easy you expect to find a man in this harsh economy.
2. As an Igbo lady, you are naturally at risk unless you drive it into your man’s ear that in your own family they don’t ask a man for crazy bride price otherwise you will only see men come into your life without discussing marriage and you will think its a curse from the village but its only as a result of the funny belief that Igbo ladies are expensive to marry.
3. How many ladies can start a life with a struggling man? I guess part of the prayer point during deliverance is that GOD should bring a ready made man to propose to you. Mumu
4. Funny doctrinal belief is another hindrance and many ladies who run to conservative churches in the bid to have a man end up in more bondage. I had a lady friend in her 30s who i admire so much but she goes to one of this conservative churches and there was a time i was so sick and i was expecting her to visit but she never did and when i told her i was angry, she was so quick to say she can not visit me at home and i was like FOR REAL? Even a sick guy? i even told her that she would have at least come in company of a friend and i lost interest in the friendship instantly and i wonder how she will get a good man with that mindset.
5. Rough past is another hindrance and many ladies just believe that if a man loves them the past does not matter.
6. Lack of wife qualities is another issue and i wonder how a lady who does not have the required quality to be a mrs to a man will be desperate fore a man because even if any man comes,he will eventually leave you until you work on yourself.
The bottom line is that many ladies we see in churches today who tend to be looking for a husband are their own problems. So stop been desperate and work on your mindset and you will be surprised that in no time, a good man will walk into your life and marry you.