Here is a list of those important things you should know when getting to know someone, you might not get to ask them directly, but still find a way to know all the answers to the 10 points listed below:
1. Are you married / or do have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Any studdering, hesitation or giggling is a MAJOR red flag. “Are you single” is a very simple question that should have a very simple answer… i remember this man was trying to approach me, i asked him if he was single… first he giggled (nervous laughter) then he said “why you ask me that”? then he said “yes i’m single”, then he says “i have friends”, translation… “no i’m not single, i have a girl but i’m also a dog”. SMH!!! If a man/woman is single he/she will answer that question with a simple “YES” (with no pause), anything other than that is suspect.
2. What are his/her morals & values?
This one should be HIGH on everyone’s list. If your morals & values are not in alignment with each other, that could be a big problem.
3. How does he/she speak to you?
I have learned that there is something to be said about a man/woman who constantly speaks with a foul mouth around a person they just started dating. It shows a lack of respect. I’m not saying a man/woman can’t ever curse… of course that’s not the case, but if he/she’s saying things to you like “wassup my nigga” or “wassup bitch” or Muthaf*cka this Muthaf*cka that”… he/she is not respecting you.
4. What is he saying about his / her ex? Is he speaking negative about them?
It’s normal to some degree for a person to say certain things about their EX, however if the person you are interested in is ranting with anger and talking very negative about the person whom they were once in love with… that’s a sign they still have issues regarding that situation, and just like they talk bad about that EX, they will talk bad about you.
5. Does he/she want marriage and children?
If you are early 20’s you don’t have to rush these type of questions, but if you are in your 30’s or 40’s you NEED to ask the tough questions early so you are not wasting your time with someone who doesn’t want the same things in life that you want or maybe they want it and you don’t… either way, marriage and children need to be discussed at some point, especially if that’s something you have your heart set on.
6. Do they have anger issues or a quick temper?
I once was out with a guy who screamed at the top of his lungs at someone for getting his order wrong…. being annoyed would be normal, but to SCREAM bloody Mary in a public place is insane… needless to say that was one red flag that i should’ve took heed to. pay attention to Public behavior and quick temper signs, if they act psycho in public, what do you think they will be like behind closed doors?
7. What are their goals?
This is a good question to ask to see if he/she may have a good head on his/her shoulders. I met a man who lived at home with his mom, yet he spent several thousand dollars buying a new gold chain when he should’ve been getting his own place (SMH)! needless to say that was a major turnoff to me and a huge red flag that his priorities & goals were not in sync with mines.
8. Do they have kids, how many? how many mothers/fathers?
If meet a man with 5 kids and 4 or 5 different mothers. Realistically speaking, if a man is spending time & money with his kids like he’s suppose to, how is it possible for him to have time or the finances to date or start a family with someone new? besides that, it could be a red flag that he has commitment issues if he hasn’t settled down with none of the mother of his kids. I don’t like to judge but… No Thanks!!
9. What type of people do they hang around?
They say you are a reflection of the people you choose to hang around. If the man/woman you are interested in is hanging around with people who have no morals and bad character, you need to pay attention to that.
10. How do they treat their Mother/Father?
In most cases, If a person speaks to their Mom/Dad in a disrespectful manner… that’s a sign that they will probably speak to you the same way eventually.