“What do women want?” many men have wondered. Who knows. But figuring out what women want in men is crucial to becoming effective not only in dealing with women, but developing the kind of Dating Life you really want.
So what do women want from men? What traits do they look for? And why — what’s the reason behind it?
Here are three specific traits. And naturally there are also three corresponding reasons why women want these traits in men.
Let’s take some time to explore them in detail…
Ultimately, what women want in men is to have their needs and desires fulfilled. To understand what traits women look for in men, we have to understand just what those needs and desires are…
… and then we can make the connections to these character traits, and how you can develop them in yourself.
Need #1: Security. Women want to feel safe. In today’s civilized world however, safety isn’t really that big of an issue anymore.
Need #2: Pleasure. Women want to feel pure sensual stimulation. What do men talk about? Business, sports, and women. But what do women talk about? s*x, men, s*x, relationships, and s*x — did I mention s*x?
Need #3: Adventure. Women want to feel excitement and anticipation. They have a strong desire to trust in someone who will lead them into emotional charged experiences that they wouldn’t have the courage to go alone.
Now, what you’ll notice is that what women want in men are traits that allow her to experience the condition that meet her needs and desires…
… traits that give her these FEELINGS!
The 3 Traits Women Look For in a Man’s Character
So what traits allow women to experience these feelings? This is the key to understanding what women look for in guys.
Here’s what women want in men…
Trait #1: Loyalty. Loyalty allows a woman to feel safe. It gives her a sense of security.
Trait #2: Imagination. Imagination allows a woman to feel stimulated. It gives her a sense of pleasure.
Trait #3: Passion. Passion allows a woman to feel excitement. It gives her a sense of adventure.
Now, what you’ll notice is that guys can be categorized by which trait is most dominant in them.
Nice Guys are loyal.
Smooth Guys are imaginative.
And Bad Guys are passionate.
We’ll take a look at each man shortly, but before we do…
… what defines a man? Why do some have loyalty as their dominant trait while others have imagination — or passion?
How Do You Develop Different Traits?
What defines a man’s character? And why are certain traits dominant in some while suppressed in others? After all, different dominant traits attract very different responses from women.
Here’s the secret…
It has to do with his views on risk. It’s all in his ATTITUDE toward risk!
What you’ll notice is that what defines each type of guy is how he approaches risk. And the key to figuring out what women want in men is to notice how different men respond to risk.
How a guy approaches risk is what defines him and his character.
So if you want to change your character, change your beliefs about what risk means to you.
Do you respond to risk with fear? That’s an important question.
Ultimately, what women want in men are guys who respond to risk with courage — not fear.
Now, let’s take a closer look at each guy by paying attention to how he responds to risk, and the effect it has on women…
Trait #1: Nice Guys Have Loyalty
Nice Guys are your average guys. They tend to be passive.
There are a few guys that don’t buy into it, but we’re all raised to be Nice Guys. We’re conditioned to become Nice Guys from day 1.
How do Nice Guys look at risk?
Nice Guys avoid risk at all costs. Risks scare them because they hate stepping outside of their comfort zones. They cling to what they know, and usually resist change.
Generally, they’re closed-minded. They think they’re always right… even though they may not voice that opinion. And it is this needing to be right that causes their fear of risk.
When it comes to their approach to women or dating, they rely on what they’ve been taught to believe their whole lives.
They try to BUY a woman’s affection with free dinners, free drinks, free advice, free gifts, free favors, and free compliments
When you ask the Nice Guy for advice on dating, he says, “Be nice, and treat a woman with respect.”
What he really means is, “Bend over backwards for women. Suck up to them. Disrespect yourself by going out of your way to please them. Be her slave and kiss her a*s… and pray she gives you what you want.”
They focus on women… on pleasing them.
What women want in men is SECURITY. And even though Nice Guys are the least successful with women, they do offer women security because they’re LOYAL.
Women marry Nice Guys. That’s it. Women SETTLE for Nice Guys when they’ve either run out of options, or are ready to ’settle down’ because they know they can trust him to provide for her.
But in her eyes, he’s just a friend… not really a lover.
And since, today, women have equal opportunities as men for seeking financial security, she can give herself the only thing Nice Guys have to offer.
Basically, women get together with Nice Guys out of laziness.
Trait #2: Smooth Guys Have Imagination
Smooth Guys are suave… or rather, they seem suave at first. They tend to be moody… one moment they may be passive, and the next, aggressive.
These are the people-pleasers. They’re players, con-artists, and BSers.
Unlike the Nice Guys, they cannot be trusted. They’re not loyal.
They tend to be guys who feel they need to compensate for their feelings of inferiority. So what you are actually seeing is always a clever disguise that covers their perceived weaknesses.
How do Smooth Guys look at risk?
Like Nice Guys, they don’t like risk but they’ll take it if they’re promised a guarantee. They need reassurance that they won’t fail. If they think they have a ’fail-safe’, they’ll take it.
What they want is to belong, and fit in. They’re generally after winning people’s approval. And that’s why they need the guarantee.
When it comes to their approach to women or dating, they rely on techniques and seduction methods.
They try to convince or PERSUADE a woman into liking them with hypnosis, seduction, and techniques.
When you ask the Smooth Guy about dating advice, he says, “Use manipulation to seduce women.”
What he’s really saying is, “I don’t feel that I deserve a woman for who I am. I’ll sacrifice my own identity to feel close to someone. I’m that desperate for affection.”
They focus on being validated by women… usually on s*x, and their performance.
What women want in men is STIMULATION. Smooth Guys offer women stimulation because they are IMAGINATIVE. They’re successful at bedding women and giving them sensual experiences.
Women sleep with Smooth Guys because they know there will be no strings attached… it’s free s*x. They know the guy won’t pursue or judge them afterwards.
They’re s*x toys. Women use them to fill space.
Trait #3: Bad Guys Have Passion
Bad Guys are generally the rebels and jocks. Often, we know them as “that jerk”, or “that asshole”… the “bad boy”.
They tend to be highly aggressive.
Bad guys are very masculine. They have all the manly traits… but they are often very selfish and domineering.
Still, women go crazy for them because these guys usually don’t look for approval from anyone… they’re not out to please anyone.
How do Bad Guys look at risk?
They love risk! They often take risks for no other reason than because they enjoy it… to put themselves to the test.
When it comes to their approach to women or dating, they generally don’t have one. They don’t need an approach because there are always women pursuing them.
Women WIN them because Bad Guys don’t care, and are unpredictable.
When you ask the Bad Guy about dating advice, he says, “Who cares!”
What he really means is, “I’m completely self-centered. I don’t really care about anyone, but myself. I look out for me, but no one else — oh yeah… I take what I want, when I want.”
They focus on themselves… pleasing themselves, often at the expense of others.
What women want in men is ADVENTURE. Bad Guys offer women adventure because they’re PASSIONATE. Women are attracted and become attached and addicted to these guys.
Women want these guys because they can’t help it. It’s in their nature. Bad Guys trigger high states of attraction in women and create intense emotions.
They’re the guys women want to catch and tame. But Bad Guys refuse to be controlled, so it’s always a losing battle.
Why Not Integrate and Balance All 3?
Then there are the guys who have all these traits integrated into their character in a balanced way.
They have integrity.
I call them the Cool Guys. They are the rare guys who have a healthy balance…
They are loyal, but they respect themselves. They are imaginative, but they don’t use it to win people’s approval but to pursue their dreams. And they are passionate, but they don’t let it control them.
They’re assertive and enthusiastic.
They have backbone unlike the Nice Guy, they’re creative like the Smooth Guy, and they control their emotions… yet they respect others, unlike the Bad Guy.
A Cool Guy is the ideal guy… the guy that all women are secretly looking for — not only in the short-term, but also in the long-term.
What women want in men, ultimately, is a man who has all these traits. A man who has integrity.
How do Cool Guys look at risk?
They also love risk! But they choose when they take a risk, and they place a purpose behind their risks. They take risks to better themselves, but not at the expense of others.
When it comes to their approach to women or dating, they decide to give women chances — if they like what they see or experience.
Like Bad Guys, women WIN them, because Cool Guys are authentic, genuine, and real. They know what they want and pursue their ambitions, and they have high standards and expect the best.
When you ask the Cool Guy about dating advice, he says, “Live your life on your terms. Have an identity that belongs to you. Have ambition and create a World… and women will show-up and try to invite themselves in.”
What he really means is, “Women are an addition to my life. They don’t complete me, and I don’t need them. But they definitely make it more fun.”
Cool Guys offer women EVERYTHING! They are the best of all worlds.
This is the guy women will fight for! This is the trophy every woman wants to win.
He can be nice, he can be smooth, and he can be dangerous… but in a good way.
What women want in men is the character of a Cool Guy.
By Jay Julio of Sosuave.com